I was at an event recently and bumped into someone I’d not seen for a few months.
‘I was so sorry to hear about your break up,’ she said, in what was possibly the most sickly sweet voice ever. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes, I’m good thanks!’ I said.
‘I do feel for you,’ she continued, ‘but you mustn’t worry, you’re a lovely girl and you will meet someone new I’m sure.’
Then she launched into a story about how she had been pursued by her current husband, until she was powerless to resist.
‘I mean yes,’ she said ‘there are a lot of things I miss about living on my own, but that’s the sacrifice you make isn’t it?’
Excuse me if I’m missing something here, but isn’t the point of being in a relationship with someone that they add value to your life?
I don’t want to be with someone at the expense of my own happiness. I want a relationship to enrich my life and make me feel like I’ve have gained something, not that I’ve had to make sacrifices.
I’ve had my fair share of relationships, it’s true, but now at 39 years old I feel like it’s time to say ‘you know what, I’m kind of done with trying to make things work.’
I have created a life for myself that I love.
I am single and…
3.Actually I’m not single
Votes so far
I enjoy my work, I have a great family, a network of friends and the obligatory gang of dogs.
Things are good,and I do exactly what I want,
when I want. At the weekends I get to lie in with the whole bed to myself (apart from said dogs).
Sometimes I get up and clean my house (which I bought by myself), or sometimes I watch old episodes of First Dates.
Last weekend I booked fights to Thailand, just because I want to visit a brightly painted castle I’ve seen pictures of.
I work for myself because I love the freedom and the fact that I’m not accountable to anyone and my love life is the same.
It would take an incredible job offer to make me give up the freelance life and the same applies to men.
The woman I met at that event might be sure I’ll meet someone new, but I’m not so sure I want to, thanks all the same.
Kumerland is the creator of the award-winning parenting and lifestyle blog Kumer a Single Man.